THE "MIDDLE WIFE"
By an anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I
have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the
one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always
have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over
shyness and usually show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring
in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they
catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any
boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in
to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright,
very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the
front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant: "This is
Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their
love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and
Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow,
and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my
camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mom starts
saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!'" Erica puts
a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around
the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'"(Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
"My dad called the middle wife. She delivers
babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the
Domino's man. They got my mom to lie down in bed like
this." (Then Erica lies down with her back against the
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she
kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up
and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" (This
kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water
flowing away. It was too much!)
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'Push,
push" and "Breathe, breathe. They started
counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a
sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and
returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my
camcorder, just in case another "Middle Wife"
söndag 22 mars 2009
En underbar historia- på engelska
THE "MIDDLE WIFE"
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